A client came to Stephen and I for a private 5-day Intensive. He had some demanding health concerns and needed a jump start in his healing path. After some reflection on a client’s situation, I discovered a mistake that is common and interferes with taking steps forward.
Over the 5 days when being taught information, the client’s most common response was, “I know.” As conversations progressed, it felt like Stephen and I kept running into a brick wall called “I know.” As teachers and healers, this is very frustrating.
Two key elements for healing are vulnerability and receptivity.
These are difficult to create when a client already knows everything. Since this visit, I’ve been reflecting on the events. And, I am grateful to share an insight we all can benefit.
For educated, informed and experienced people, it can seem insulting to listen to someone go on and on about how the cow ate the cabbage, especially for a farmer. However, if we do not embody the information or lesson being shared, then clearly there is some disconnect. We may intellectually “know” information, however, the demonstration or implementation of the wisdom is absent.
In this kind of situation, a better response is, “I agree.” That denotes the listener is informed and in alignment with the message being shared, and it also says he is not clueless or hearing it for the first time. “I know” in essence shuts the teacher down and subtly communicates, “okay, just stop talking I’ve heard all this before and don’t care to suffer through your version of it.” Whereas, “I agree” builds repore, it keeps the energy of the conversation moving forward, and it indicates that the listener is receptive, vulnerable and interested in learning. After all, the missing ingredient that’s obstructed us from implementing and embodying a life lesson might come from any conversation.
Next time you hear the words, “I know” jump out of your mouth, quickly correct yourself and instead try, “I agree.”
Do you hear or say "I know" a lot? Here's how that response may be obsctructing your relationships: https://t.co/c7hyrmVao3
— Shen Life (@shenlifeteam) September 12, 2016
On the flip side, if someone is telling you “I know, I know, I know,” then take a moment to acknowledge that they may have some training, knowledge or expertise in the area. Then, try re-engaging the conversation again. Keep at it until the listener communicates he “agrees,” either verbally or through body language, then you’ll know he is receptive and ready to move forward in the conversation. Once acknowledged, then the opportunity for healing, growth and connection are present. Likewise, when you “agree,” then you open the window to fully hear and embody the potential life lesson .
And in case you wondered, yes, the above-referenced client is doing much better. He is out of the woods. He is on his way to living a Shen Life.
Do you think you can swap “I know” for “I agree?”
Let us know how it works out in the comments!