Change vs. Growth

Most people confuse change with growth.

Change is movement.
Forward. Backward. Sideways. In circles.

Growth is development.
A forward movement in the quality of who you are.

Big difference.

The Plant Test

A plant grows through stages: seed, sprout, stalk, flowering, fruit.
That’s development.

But the plant can also change without growing.

The sun gets too hot and it wilts.
The soil dries out and it withers.
The wind kicks up and it bends.

Those are changes.

Sometimes those changes are part of growth—if the plant adapts and becomes more resilient.

But if it keeps declining, that “change” is just a fluctuation of a dying state.
Movement, yes.
Development, no.

The Positive Trap

Popular culture loves positive psychology.
And sure—being around upbeat people is more pleasant than hanging out under someone’s personal storm cloud.

But “thinking positive” is not the same thing as growing.

A lot of positivity is just cosmetic.

Positive thinking can be like pouring sugar on shit.
It changes the taste.
It doesn’t change the substance.

Same with “new vibes,” “new affirmations,” “new aesthetic.”
That’s just putting a new outfit on a mannequin.
Different look.
Same emptiness.

Growth Is Vertical

Real growth requires depth.
Not pep.
Not performance.
Not spiritual cosplay.

Growth requires persistent reflection.
Meditation.
And a deep dive into the body where the patterns actually live.

Because patterns aren’t stored in your opinions.
They’re stored in your nervous system.

If your body hasn’t changed, you haven’t changed.
You’ve just rehearsed a new story.

Vertical vs. Horizontal

A client once told me:

“I’ve spent all my life focusing on my horizontal growth without doing any vertical growth.”

Meaning: she built the outer life, but neglected Shen.

She was close—but not quite accurate.

Here’s what’s true:

If you focus only on the external domains of life—money, status, achievement, approval—without a serious inner path, you don’t live from power.
You live from reactivity.

You ricochet off buried distress patterns.
Then you compensate.

You chase pleasure to anesthetize pain:
fame, power, status, money, and shiny shit.

You might “win” externally.
And still be shrinking internally.

That’s not growth.
That’s change.

It’s survival-pathic adaptation.
A smarter cage.
A nicer mask.

Growth Makes You More You

Growth is when you go inward and face what you’ve been avoiding.

The grief you never metabolized.
The anger you buried.
The fear you built your personality around.
The control addiction.
The approval hunger.

You don’t think your way through that.
You feel your way through it.
You breathe.
You stay.
You let the old pattern die.

And on the other side of that death, something becomes obvious:

Who you are beneath the persona.

Shen.
Spirit.
Creative Source.

Make that your home.

From there, your choices get cleaner.
Your path gets simpler.
Your “horizontal life” starts aligning without force.

Because now the outer life is being built from the inside-out.
Not from panic.
Not from compensation.
Not from the need to prove you exist.

Change Isn’t the Goal

Most people are changing all the time.
New habits.
New relationships.
New cities.
New identities.

But they’re not growing.

Because they never touched the root.
They just rearranged the branches.

Growth is real.
And it has a signature:

You become more authentic.
More embodied.
More sovereign.

You stop living a lie.

That’s vertical growth.

And when vertical growth is real, horizontal change finally means something.
It actually moves you forward.

Reach for it.